When life throws you a curve.

Life isn't always star shines and rainbows. But that's what people mostly like to show on the internet. That's not me though. I'm going to take a moment and get real. Something is going on with my head. No literally..something is not right. When I had Nixon, I would go to nurse him, and I would get his strange tingling that started at the top of my heard, then went down my face. I chalked it up to crazy hormones, because that's what I figured they were. Later, as he got older, I would have days where the tingling would be almost all day, and sometimes I would feel flushed on that one side of my face. Again, I figured hormones, post partum hot flashes. Etc. I was fine. Then, right before I was about to move out here to Yuma a year and a half ago, I started noticing I had days where my left side was weak. My face would feel funny on that side, and my arm and leg would feel like it took extra work to use them. Like the feeling you get after a body part falls asleep and then the blood flow comes back. I chalked it up to anxiety and ignored it. Whatever it is, it is acting up a lot recently. I have had days at a time where the weak feeling happens, lightning bolt sharp pains on that one side, and my face feels weird and I get muscle spasms. The last few days, I have been experiencing it a lot. Every time I look it up, I get scary things, like a brain tumor or Multiple Sclerosis and a few things about strokes and bad hormonal imbalances. Of course, those are the worst possible scenarios. But what if it was something like that. I have three little boys. A new baby who counts on me to nurse him and so very much needs his momma. I'm devistated thinking of the possibilities. We have been so lucky to not have anything too serious wrong with our health, besides a kidney infection when I was pregnant. I try and do as much as possible as I can preventative and natural. However, when it comes to something like this.  Bloodwork, labs, possibly an MRI. I'm scared. We can't afford any of that out of pocket, and we don't have a doctor out here in Yuma and we move in three weeks, I'm keeping an eye on things, watching for other symptoms, and trying not to stress out. I'm working on figuring out a way to get into the doctor as soon as we move out there. I need some piece of mind and a good doctor to listen to me. I'm using some oil protocols for now and making sure I am keeping sugar out of my diet, alcohol and balancing my ph s much as I can. Because I think, what would I do if I found out I had cancer? I would deny chemotherapy, radiation and medication. I would seek out a holistic doctor and use all of my resources to find a way to rid my body of it, because whatever this is, minor or major...I have a lot to live for. For now I just need to breathe and keep calm.