Let me eat cake.

Tonight I'm nestled deep under the covers with a plate piled high with flourless chocolate cake and an oversized portion of coconut whipped cream. A cozy bed always makes me feel better. I can't handle motherhood for a second longer with the older boys tonight. Bedtime was at 7:30.  It's Tuesday, so our typical day is dropping Mikey off at school at 1:40. Then the kids and I play around until about 5 and then things turn sour as the baby gets fussy. Then I'm scrambling to make dinner one handed while chaos ensues around me because everyone is tired and can't get along anymore. Tonight was bad. Hayden has been very difficult. I know it's because we are moving and he can see things changing. He never does well with change. I do my typical routine of explaining everything, and creating excitement around the house about where we are going. Looking up places in Utah on the iPad together, showing them pictures of Grandpa and Mia's house and making plans for what kind of fun adventures we will have. But in between meltdowns that seem unrelated, I get little clues that he is stressed. "You are packing up all of our toys and getting rid of them!" Why can't my dad just move to Utah too?" "You just want us to be far away from Gabba!!" It breaks my heart. I try and explain to him in the easiest way that I can to a five year old, but I'm still learning how to be a parent too. And I don't always say the right things. I'm a very high stress person and I know a lot of him feeling the way he does, comes from me. But I am better at handling those feelings after years of practice. He is not. So we get major meltdowns where he sometimes hurts himself, fits of screaming and destroying his room, and a ton of anger and pacing and crying and pulling at his hair or clothes. It's hard to watch, and sometimes he will just let me hold him and other times, he needs to be by himself in his room so he can calm down. I'm hoping things settle down once we get out there, but for now, I eat cake and hope tomorrow is better. 

My journey to natural living

When I was 19 years old, I found out I was pregnant. I was scared, but mostly excited. I had been born to be a mother, just ask anyone in my family. I carried dolls around until I was like 14. So finding out about Hayden wasn't as scary to me as it might have been for most girls my age. I was working full time and going to school part time. I started researching a ton. I knew I would be raising him mostly by myself, so I wanted to make sure I chose the very best for him. It was all on me. I remember the long nights of sitting at my computer looking up vaccine information, getting cramps in my legs and having to jump up and run around the room. I researched breast feeding, and breast pumps and which diapers commonly gave rashes, and which didn't. However, some of the things I had planned for, didn't go quite as I had expected. When my baby was about 10 months old, I decided I wanted to start making him baby food from scratch and bought my first cloth diaper. I enjoyed knowing exactly what was going on and in my child's body and of course not having to buy diapers. Really, it all started with saving money for me, since I didn't have a lot of it. Then I moved on to more natural living right around the time I got pregnant with my second son. These are some of the alternate ways I lived and how I choose to raise my kids. Of course, it's mostly 'WE' because both fathers of my boys have been on board with all of this, and for that, I am very fortunate and grateful. Michael is very involved and does research and has been ver open to a more natural way of raising kids, 

All natural baby soaps-No Johnson & Johnson for us. It contains harmful known cancer causing chemicals and formaldehyde. We use plan derived all natural and usually organic soaps and lotions with no dyes, preservatives, additives and junk. 

Baltic Amber necklaces- Baltic Amber is supposed to release succinic acid when heated against your skin. When worn on the neck, they supposedly help with teething pain and some people put them on the ankle of their newbon for colic pain. I have even seen some people wear long strands on their lower back for pain management. Do these work? I'm still skeptical, but I still use them for my babies and wear one myself because they are cute, and it doesn't hurt to try. A lot of people swear by them. 

No-poo- I washed mine and my boy's hair with baking soda and a drop if essential oil, and followed it up with an apple cider vinegar rinse for my own longer hair. You strip your hair of build up caused by the chemicals in shampoos and conditioners sold in stores. Go ahead, read the backs of your shampoo bottles and tell me what it contains..

Homemade soap- I made batches of soap from scratch with vegetable and essential oils in my kitchen for a few years. I loved having a stash, and was able to make a little extra money by selling it. It got harder after having Nixon so I stopped.  But I can't wait to start up again!

Plant based laundry detergent and household cleaners- I used natural plant based detergent to wash our clothes instead of the store ought heavily perfumed ones full of chemicals that don't fully rinse out of your clothes and sit on your skin, fabric softener? The worst. I also used organic lemon and orange peels that sat in a jar with vinegar and sugar for weeks to make a natural and powerful enzyme cleaner in a spray bottle and sprayed cinnamon and peppermint oils around the perimeter of our house to keep spiders out. We don't even keep chemicals in our home. 

Wool pants and full time cloth-Hayden and Nixon were both full time cloth diapered and ran around in brightly colored wool pants. Wool has natural antibacterial qualities that lock in moisture in case of leaks, and doesn't smell. I washed and conditioned them with homemade lanolin soap of course. 

Farmer's markets- we visited the farmers market weekly to get fresh produce from local farms and bought free range eggs from nice old ladies. 

Trade- I traded with other moms who made and sold things. Christmas of 2009, I traded for almost all of the Christmas presents for our family.

Midwives and home birth- I used a midwife for well woman check ups. Do you know how comfortable it is to get your yearly pap in the comfort of your own home?! Then when I got pregnant with Nixon, I planned a water birth. Although plans changed when I ended up transferring to a hospital because he got stuck after 50 hours of labor, I was thankful for the relaxing time I had at home, and would do it again under the right circumstances. 

Breast feeding- I was determined to successfully breastfeed all future children after failing with Hayden. I did a ton of research and surrounded myself with knowledgable friends and attended play groups of mostly all breast feeding moms. I nursed Nix with minimal issues until he was 2 years and one week old. 

No food preservatives or dyes-

We keep food with dyes, artificial preservatives and sugars out of our home.we try and eat whole foods without anything added as much as possible. 

Skin care- I have used coconut oil mixed with essential oils for diaper rashes, as a moisturizer and we use toxic free natural sunscreen. I research everything before putting it on our skin, because your skin is the largest organ and absorbs toxins. 

Vaccinations- controversial topic, but we do not vaccinate. My children have a healthy immune system. We have been very lucky to have not had any major illnesses. They have never needed to be on antibiotics and have so far never been hospitalized. We have gotten through ear infections, colds, bronchitis once, cuts, scrapes, growing pains, fevers and 5ths disease. All of which we have survived and I believe it is due to the fact that my boys don't have bogged down overworked immune systems caused by the harsh vaccine schedule. Will we change things and get a very select few in the future? Maybe. Is it scary? Yes. Going each way scares me, but it's so,shying I have chosen and both fathers of my children are on board with after doing research together. I have nothing against anyone who chooses otherwise, but that's what we do. 

Circumsicion- another controversial topic for some. First son, yes. I did not do my research, and his father refused to go any other way with the decision. Last two son's..no way. The reason why we don't is simple. It's not our body, it's not our choice. It is not recommended by any health organization in the world and there are a TON of myths out there about cleanliness, care and even sexually transmitted diseases. If one of our sons decides they want the cosmetic procedure done later in life, then go for it. I refuse to alter something that is there for a reason. I refuse to take that choice away from them. But I know for some, that's important, and to each his own. 

Teeth- We stay away from fluoride because it's toxic. It is literally considered toxic waste by the EPA. Because teeth are bones, they can actually heal themselves from cavities. Just as a fractured arm would. We brush with a natural paste without whiteners, artificial sweeteners and fluoride. Usually it's a base of essential oils, baking soda and clay. My boys have great teeth until I forget to be on top of their brushing -_- 

Water- Spring water usually doesn't contain fluoride, chlorine or anything harmful, but it does have naturally occurring minerals that most diets are lacking. And speaking of...

Vitamins and minerals- we supplement with daily mineral drops and plant derived dye and crap-free vitamins. 

Rear facing- Extended rear facing is some crazy number like 107 times safer than non rear facing your children. I'm not a memorizing numbers type of person and I'm too exhausted to google it, but I've don't my fair share of car seat research. Hayden's car seat rpstayed rear facing until 4. Nixon was 3.5 and Mycah will be until around then as well. Basically, your child's spine is not fully developed or formed as strong as an adults until they are about 5-7 years of age. (Again I'm not exact with numbers but I know it's around there.) If you were to get into a high impact car accident and they wracked forward,they have a high chance of being internally decapitated. Luckily, the AAP is catching on to the statistics, and are now recommending rear facing to AT LEAST two years of age. But don't just take my word for it, look it up! 

Cosleeping- we don't use a crib. I know there have been lots of cases of SIDS where they reported deaths from cosleeping. Yes. It can happen. But we don't drink a ton, and we don't do drugs and I'm not a light sleeper. I have a strong desire to keep my babies close to me, like most mammals do. We feel safe with our decision, but if you don't, again. No judgment. This works for us.

Essential oils- we use pure therapeutic grade oils from doTERRA instead of over the counter drugs. Peppermint for headaches, digestive issues and fevers, lavender for cuys, burns, sleep and anxiety, clove for tooth aches, melaleuca and On Guard for infections..etc etc the list goes on and on. We have been lucky enough to beat kidney infections, ear infections, colds, flu, burns and depression in our home so far. I don't know what I would do without our essential oils.

Baby wearing- we practice baby wearing. It's basically what it sounds like. You wrap, buckle or sling your baby onto your front or back. There are many differnt baby wearing styles and techniques, but they all come down to you keeping your baby close to promote bonding. Also..getting crap done with the use of both your hands! They have found that your baby can regulate their body temperature and heart rate better when up against their parent. It's beneficial and convenient! 

Nurturing not shaming- I need a lot of mental reminders on this one, but nurturing our children so they grow up to be good fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, providers, listeners and just all around good people. Who wants a violent mentally detached butthole for a child? Not me. People can pollute and corrupt our world, just as much as trash and toxic waste can. The way you discipline, guide and teach your children will shape the kinds of adults they turn into. 

Toys- I'm picky about toys. Not because I want to deprive my children. Because I want them to use their brains. Wooden cars make no sounds on their own, but when you hand them to a child, they turn into a loud racing machine flying down the track on your living room floor. I want creative play. No batteries, no blinking flashing lights and obnoxious sounds that leave nothing to imagine. Sorry Iron Man, but I will be ripping out your electronic mechanism with a screw driver if you enter my home. I would much rather hear my three year old shout "I I-don-man!" Than the recorded message over and over and over. And over.

Homeschool- with Hayden's challenges, and the one-size-fits-most approach that most public schools have, I want to homeschool.  Each and every one of my children will learn differently, yet everyone is taught the same. Imagine your child taking an interest in something like photography and being able to obsess over that until they aquire the knowledge and skill because they aren't in a strict classroom setting, and they are allowed to explore. Whichever way we end up doing things, I guarantee our children will at the very least..be able to read, write, spell, discuss, argue, add, subtract, divide, multiply, cook, bake, sew, make change, grocery shop, fish, shoot a gun, take pictures, make music, follow directions, assess, make decisions, take a test, pass a test, drive, hammer, use a saw, cut wood, talk to people, swim, play a sport or two, do laundry, feed animals, grow food, make soap, effectively wash dishes, paint, and ride a bike by the time they are 18.

I'm sure there are a few other things I'm forgetting, but this just about sums up our lifestyle! 

Our Easter

Michael and Moo Pants took me on a much needed date on Friday. It was nice to get out and away from the craziness of the older boys. Even though I love them a ridiculous amount. 

Then after some consideration, we didn't do the Easter bunny this year because Hayden was pretty concerned about a giant magical bunny. So instead we gave them some goodies from us, and did an egg hunt Sunday morning.  We don't do candy either, so the Annie's organic bunny fruit snacks were perfect for this occasion. Next year we will do a small celebration on the first day of Spring since neither Michael or I really want to celebrate the religious aspect of what Easter is, or the Pagan version. 

The geode rocks were not so easy without a hammer! Hahah

Then we spent the day at a local park where we attempted to show the boys how to fish, and how to get a kit up in the air. Both were fails. Haha! 

Cough and cold syrup

A cold hit me out of nowhere, so naturally I turned to our oils!

This is a homemade cold and cough syrup I make in a jr, and we take a spoonful a few times a day. 

Ingredients:

Manuka honey or raw honey

5 drops On Guard

5 drops Frankinsence 

5 drops Lemon

Mix it all together and store in the pantry. Always use a fresh spoon and don't dip back in the jar for obvious disgusting reasons. Never give honey to an infant under 1.

My collection of soups

Soups are a great way to get whole foods into our bodies, on a budget. Which is great for larger families. I will be editing this post and adding my favorite recipes so I can remember them.

Simple cauliflower butternut squash soup

1 head cauliflower

1 butternut squash

1/2 onion

2 boxes of organic chicken broth 

Spices to taste

Cut up and rinse the cauliflower. 

Cut all the rind off of the butternut squash, and scoop the seeds. Cut it into chunks.

Dice the onion.

Add everything to the pot and season. I did garlic powder, pink Himalayan salt, pepper and a little turmeric. I let everything cook on medium for an hour and a half until everything was really mushy. Now either you can use an immersion blender or just a potato masher to mash it up. It depends on the consistency you want. Then I put it on low for another 45 min and served it. I'm not super precise with everything because it's soup. But I loved the combo and it was even better the next day and the day after. It got a good rating from Mikey too!

When life throws you a curve.

Life isn't always star shines and rainbows. But that's what people mostly like to show on the internet. That's not me though. I'm going to take a moment and get real. Something is going on with my head. No literally..something is not right. When I had Nixon, I would go to nurse him, and I would get his strange tingling that started at the top of my heard, then went down my face. I chalked it up to crazy hormones, because that's what I figured they were. Later, as he got older, I would have days where the tingling would be almost all day, and sometimes I would feel flushed on that one side of my face. Again, I figured hormones, post partum hot flashes. Etc. I was fine. Then, right before I was about to move out here to Yuma a year and a half ago, I started noticing I had days where my left side was weak. My face would feel funny on that side, and my arm and leg would feel like it took extra work to use them. Like the feeling you get after a body part falls asleep and then the blood flow comes back. I chalked it up to anxiety and ignored it. Whatever it is, it is acting up a lot recently. I have had days at a time where the weak feeling happens, lightning bolt sharp pains on that one side, and my face feels weird and I get muscle spasms. The last few days, I have been experiencing it a lot. Every time I look it up, I get scary things, like a brain tumor or Multiple Sclerosis and a few things about strokes and bad hormonal imbalances. Of course, those are the worst possible scenarios. But what if it was something like that. I have three little boys. A new baby who counts on me to nurse him and so very much needs his momma. I'm devistated thinking of the possibilities. We have been so lucky to not have anything too serious wrong with our health, besides a kidney infection when I was pregnant. I try and do as much as possible as I can preventative and natural. However, when it comes to something like this.  Bloodwork, labs, possibly an MRI. I'm scared. We can't afford any of that out of pocket, and we don't have a doctor out here in Yuma and we move in three weeks, I'm keeping an eye on things, watching for other symptoms, and trying not to stress out. I'm working on figuring out a way to get into the doctor as soon as we move out there. I need some piece of mind and a good doctor to listen to me. I'm using some oil protocols for now and making sure I am keeping sugar out of my diet, alcohol and balancing my ph s much as I can. Because I think, what would I do if I found out I had cancer? I would deny chemotherapy, radiation and medication. I would seek out a holistic doctor and use all of my resources to find a way to rid my body of it, because whatever this is, minor or major...I have a lot to live for. For now I just need to breathe and keep calm. 

Cuteness and a recipe

Nixon has been running to get the yoga mats from our room so he can practice a lot. Usually they try and sword fight with them rolled up, but every once in awhile he will throw out some cuteness like this 

Speaking of Yoga, I have been trying really hard on my balance because it's really off. I have finally been able to do a head stand!

Here's what is cooking in our kitchen lately. Fermented probiotic drink, Water Kefir. I'm excited for this, because I have been having trouble making kombucha out here in Yuma. Kefir is much easier. Here is one batch cultivating and one batch on its second ferment. 

I love those Mama Chia fruit gel squeezes, but they are pricey and we would go through a ton. So I decided to make my own and of course, add some probiotics since the boys just got over a never ending stomach virus. We need to get our gut flora back to normal. Especially for Nixon. 

I use quart size mason jars to make the fruit gel. There are other ways to make this I'm sure, but is is how I do it. 

Ingredients:

1/2 cup chia seeds

Juice of your choice  or coconut milk 

Fruit purée (optional)

High quality Probiotic powder 

I fill the jar up with juice, we used no sugar added organic blueberry pomegranate and yesterday was organic lemonade. Leave enough room at the top for the 1/2 cup of chia seeds. Pour those in, and stir with a fork really well. Place it in the fridge and go check on it a few times in the first half hour and shake it well each time. I usually let it sit 4-6 hours to 'gel.'

When it's the consistency of a pudding, I add a couple teaspoons of probiotic powder, stir really well, and spoon the mixture into the pouches. Then I close them and put them in the fridge. I keep adding to the jar of gel, because I fill pouches up twice a day so we always have a stash, and the boys will eat 1-2 and so will I. Another version is with coconut milk and raw honey instead of the juice. I made some today with coconut milk, honey, a few scoops of cocoa powder and a few drops of Cassia essential oil. It is SO good, but the boys aren't Cassia/cinnamon flavor fans so more for me!

Chia seeds are high in omegas, keep you hydrated, are a good source of fiber and are pretty tasteless. They absorb whatever flavor you put them in. So they are easy to eat if you can get passed the gel like consistency. It's kind of like a tomato seed with the gel around it, or like tapioca. I like it, so I eat them all the time, and the boys seems to enjoy it! 

Here is a cute baby posing for me today

We played outside a little today. The boys had gluten pizza the last two days and it has been horrible. Horrible is really the nicest way to explain their bahavior without adding profanities. I'm so mad at myself for allowing it, and now we are dealing with the repercussions of it. Lots of hitting, screaming, irrational behavior with an added bonus of random crying and literally climbing the walls. And NO listening whatsoever. Just. NO.More.Gluten. 

So outside we went. The boys have been digging this hole for about a year. Today we decided it was big enough for brother to sit in. He looks like a little red head gopher peeking out hahaha. Yes, I DID get some strange looks from passing by neighbors while I took pictures of my baby in a dirt hole. 

Family visit!

John, Yvette, April, Bran and Mikey all came down to yuma to celebrate John's birthday. It was nice seeing everyone. We will be soaking in all the family time that we can before we move. 

Long nights

Some days, motherhood is hard. I get a lot of help from Michael. But I hate Tuesdays and Thursdays. Once 6 pm hits, it's Mycah meltdown, dinner needs to be made, and everyone needs to get ready for bed. There is just not enough mommy to go around and it makes me sad. Tonight I wanted to lay in bed and snuggle with Mycah after a bath because he was so giggly. But I also wanted to talk to Hayden more about how his day was. But he had growing pains that I needed to massage, Nixon needed a drink, and Mycah just can't deal with being so tired. Not to mention the house was a disaster and the dog suddenly needed to go out. So there was SO much crying. These are the nights Michael has school late, and I long to be closer to family or friends so I can have someone come and hold my baby for a couple minutes, while I give some attention to the older boys right before they go to sleep. I hate that the last thing they remember before going to sleep is me being frustrated or barking at them to get into bed so I can hurry off and get Mycah to stop screaming. Oh well. Not every day will be easy. Tomorrow will be different. 

Picture update

A Utah lifestyle blogger did a review of my bath bombs! So cool!

Here are some sweet pictures from the last couple of days 

It has been SO hot. It was 98 at 5 when I went and picked up the older boys at drop in day care tonight. Gross. 

Our week

Moo Pants decided to have a diaper blow out during the 9am-4pm water shut off we are having ALL week at the apartment complex. Poop all up the back, to his neck, on our bed and all over my arm! He enjoyed his diaper free time though. 

He was extra cute in his bath once I was able to give him one, and fell asleepf rom all the excitement

The older boys and I busted out one of the dinosaur excavation kits I got off amazon. It didn't keep Nixon's attention long because it's pretty time consuming. Hayden sat there for two hours using the pick and brush, and it's still not done!

We will work more on it tomorrow :)

A few days a go we went on a nature walk around our apartment complex to find things for a nature mobile. I dipped the flowers and leaves in beeswax to preserve them and the boys helped me pick out which ones to tie together in order. 

We are all doing well.just getting things in order for Utah!  

My therapy

I love staying home with my boys. I really do. However, I'm not the type that could sit still. I don't know how people watch their kids and play games and watch tv all day. I'm not a sedentary person. I like to create. It's messy, and I'm thankful I found a man who let's me indulge in my hobbies. 

My dad taught me how to crochet when I was little, my mom taught me to sew, and pretty much everything else was self taught by video tutorials. I LOVE learning new skills. 

I have an Etsy shop that has a few different things that I make, https://www.etsy.com/shop/EcobagNaturals and an Instagram that I run to go along with that @ecobag_naturals

Here are some of my favorite things from there

All natural essential oil bath bombs

Paper and card stock garland

I'm also a consultant for doTERRA essential oils and I am looking forward to expand that part of my life, because I truly have seen how amazing the oils have been in healing and keeping our family healthy. I'm excited to move to Utah and be super close to headquarters. www.mydoterra.com/knotmegg/

The extra money I occasionally bring in goes towards food, wedding stuff, and fun things to do with the kids. I love having an outlet, and crafting is therapeutic for me! I hope to pass some skills on to my children as they grow :)

Moo Pants

I still can't believe it has been almost 5.5 months with our Moo Pants. He is so wonderful and is growing so fast that it's almost painful to blink. His favorite things are being on his tummy, diaper free time, baths, Milkies, and being outside. He's super irrational when he's over tired, he puts Dada in his place when he's giving him too many kisses, and he is not a fan of hearing his brothers yell and fight. He is going on 16 lbs, and wants to skip sitting up and just go to crawling. Life with him is SO fun!

Our new truck!

We had been squishing our family into our little gold 2000 Camry for 5 months.  Pretty much every time we went to drive anywhere, it was a complete nightmare. Nixon kicked, the boys were so close they would have a slapping war, and Mycah screamed. Mike had to undo his seatbelt and lean back to reach the baby and try and comfort him. By the time we reached our destination, whether it was the grocery store five minutes down the street, or California 3 hours away, we were stressed the heck out. We didn't have the funds to run out and buy a newer bigger vehicle, so we dealt with it. Hey at least we had a working car! Right? Seriously though, I complained a lot, and I shouldn't have, but it was not an ideal situation for a family of five. Then something pretty awesome happened. We received an unexpected settlement from a car accident Michael was in a year and a half ago, where he was injured. He didn't expect anything because his medical bills had thankfully been paid and hadn't followed up with the claim. But they tracked him down, and sent him a check.  A blessing in disguise for sure. Anyways, we were able to shop for a car but were taking our time. Then a couple weeks ago, I had been driving on a hot day, and Mycah was crying really hard. I pulled over and he was so bright red and sweaty. The air conditioner wasn't hitting him because he is rear facing and there are no vents in the back. It scared me because he was so overheated and upset and wouldn't even nurse. You know something is wrong when he refuses Milkies! So we started looking. We knew we wanted three rows, for the very very slight chance we decide to have another baby later, and it would work out well for Mycah right now because Michael can sit next to him and comfort him when he's having a car seat meltdown. After not finding anything decent in Yuma, we took our search to CA. We went down there for the weekend with plans to find used SUVs to look at, and hopefully not go home with the Camry again. Haha! I emailed a few people, called a few people, and set up some appointments. One car car stuck out to me though, it was a couple, who were selling a 2002 Toyota Sequoia for almost $1500 under blue book. I emailed and asked if there was anything wrong with it, and the guy wrote me back and said that it ran great, and that they were just looking to downsize now that their daughter was old enough to drive. We drove 30 min to East San Diego to meet with Gene in their church parking lot.  Right away I could tell they were just really nice people. He was very up front about a couple little things such as the D not lighting up in the dash when it's in DRIVE, the antenna not going down anymoref rom his wife going through a car wash, and a small red scrape on the side where his daughter had scraped the side of a pole going through the chipotle drive thru. He told us that he had bought the car for his wife as a gift for Mother's Day, when she had quit her job to be a full time stay at home mom. It served them well, but they didn't need a large vehicle anymore. It felt right, sounded great, drove nicely, and it was a great deal.  We did the paperwork, handed him the money, and he even insisted we take $100 back for a screw he hadn't seen in the tire. He even gave me his number and two emails in case something wasn't working well. I'm so pleased with our purchase and feel so blessed to have finally gotten a vehicle large enough to comfortably fit our family and groceries. I also can't wait to use the seat warmers when we move to Utah and it snows! Haha!

Brotherly love

This is every morning.

My heart is full.

The Fair!

We went to the fair today, and we all wore RED. Sometimes I have to step back and admire the fact that I'm surrounded by so many boys. So many handsome handsome boys!

That first ride pretty much set Nixon's mood for the rest of the trip!

Hayden had a great time riding the rides! I'm so proud of him!