Who wants to join me for a challenge? I’m combining two things that I love. My marriage, and journaling. You don’t have to be married, but it will work best if you are at least living together. Choose a journal with enough pages for a month, and enough space on each page for at least a paragraph. These should be unprompted and it will work best if you don’t discuss it with your partner before doing it. This is designed to help work on your relationship with your partner/spouse. Relationships always take work. Sometimes little things are BIG things. Whatever point you are at in your relationship, give this a try! Some of it might lead to some eye opening moments, beautiful discussions or maybe even some SEXY TIME! Feel free to openly or discreetly share on Instagram using the hashtag #TDOBchallenge and repost so other’s can join!
Day 1: Attraction. What were some of the first things that attracted you to your spouse? Find one of those things today and compliment them on it.
Day 2: Happy Note. Everyone loves happy notes! Write your spouse a happy note and leave it somewhere for them to find. What did you write and where did you put it? What kind of reaction did you get?
Day 3: Date night! Plan a date night at home for sometime this week. A snack and a movie, game, fun activity that you enjoy or used to enjoy and some one on one time. Write about your plans.
Day 4: Connect. Sometimes technology can really disconnect you from your loved ones. Today, try to put your electronic devices down every time your spouse is in the room and have a conversation. Even if they are sitting on theirs. Did you find you had more conversations than usual? If so, what were they about?
Day 5: Goooooaaals! Do you have any goals you would like to accomplish in your relationship in the near future? It could be something as simple as planning a vacation for just the two of you, Enrolling in counseling or planning a mandatory once a month date night. Write down your goals, and do something small or BIG to work towards that goal.
Day 6: Yummy! What is one of your spouses favorite treats? Go out of your way to make or buy one of them and surprise them today. What was their reaction?
Day 7: Compliments. Sometimes a little compliment can make someone’s day. Write 5 things that attract you to your spouse. Give them a compliment about one of these today.
Day 8: Ch-ch-ch-changes! Make a list of ways you have seen your spouse change for the better since you first met them. Let them know at least one of these things today.
Day 9: Kiss and tell! Do you kiss your spouse often? Randomly kiss your spouse without any prompting at least 5 times today. What kind of response did you get?
Day 10: Gifts. If you could buy your spouse something they have been really wanting, what would it be? If its something feasible that you can get them today, surprise them with it. If it’s not, make them a gift or write them another love note and leave it somewhere for them to find. What kind of response did you get?
Day 11: Homemaker. Is there a chore your spouse usually does everyday? The dishes after dinner? Taking out the trash? Doing homework with the kids? Write down what it is. Then tell them you love them, and take over the chore for today. How did they react?
Day 12: Have some class! If you and your spouse could take a fun class together, what would it be? Talk to your spouse about it, and look into it. If you can do it, schedule it! If you can’t right now, Commit to someday doing the class together.
Day 13: Appreciation. What is something you really appreciate your spouse for? Today, let them know that you appreciate them for doing whatever it is.
Day 14: Love notes revisited and bonus day! Let’s leave another love note for our spouse. Choose a different place to leave it this time! Also, make your spouse a meal today AND do the cleanup so they don’t have to.
Day 15: Can I help you? Call, text or Ask your spouse in person “Is there anything I can do to make your day easier?’ What was their response? Was it something you could help them with? Did you help them?
Day 16: No whining. Sometimes we don’t realize how often we complain to our spouse about even the littlest things. Today, make a conscious effort to not complain about anything. How did it make you feel? Did you find it difficult?
Day 17: Spontaneous. Today, Choose to be spontaneous with your spouse. Suggest an after work walk, a shower together, A late night ice cream run. Get creative! Did you have fun? What was their response?
Day 18: Rub down! Give your spouse a good back or foot rub. How did they respond?
Day 19: The feels. Think of something your spouse did this week that made you feel good. Write about it. Let your spouse know what they did, and thank them.
Day 20: Scrub scrub! Make time for a bath or shower with your spouse at the end of the day. If you own a hot tub, EVEN BETTER! *If this isn’t possible due to parental responsibilities, have a good cuddle with your spouse instead.
Day 21: In your hands. Did you hold hands a lot when first dating? Find the time to hold your spouse’s hand today every chance you can. How did they respond?
Day 22: At home date repeat: Plan another at home date night for sometime this week. If you can do one tonight, GREAT! If it’s for another day, write down your plans.
Day 23: You have my heart. You will have to get a little crafty for this one! Cut out 20 hearts from paper. Write something you love about your spouse on each heart. Stick them in a place for them to find. Some ideas are: The bathroom mirror, The inside of the pantry, Their car dashboard. What was their response? What 20 things did you choose?
Day 24: Walk it out. Take a walk together. Of course the kids can come along. Bonus points for holding their hand! If weather doesn’t permit, cuddle up on the couch! Was it nice? How did they respond?
Day 25: Help. Do you need help with something this week or month that seems daunting? What is it? Approach your spouse with your situation and nicely ask them this way: “I could really use your support with ____________. Do you think you can help me?” How did they respond?
Day 26: Movie night! Go see a movie together. If you can’t get out of the house spontaneously, Watch a movie together at home today/tonight. What did you watch? Did you enjoy your time together?
Day 27: Out with the negative, In with the positive. Today, refrain from saying anything negative to your spouse. About your day, about someone else, about life in general. If you catch yourself starting to say something negative, immediately swap it for something positive instead. Was this hard for you or easy?
Day 28: Smile. Make it a point to smile when you are around your spouse today. Even if the baby kept you up all night, or you woke up with a hangover. Smile. Did you find this hard or are you regularly ‘smiley’?
Day 29: Textual. Text your spouse randomly and tell them that you love them and appreciate them. What was their response?
Day 30: Clean up. Surprise your spouse with a clean house today. If you work or will be gone all day and can’t do this to the full extent, At least clean up a space that they might appreciate. Do they enjoy a clean bathroom to get ready for work? Make it sparkle for them. Did they notice? How did they respond?
Day 31: Easy like Sunday morning. Do something today/tonight that will help with your spouses routine. Make them their lunch so they don’t have to, Set up the coffee ahead of time for the morning, Wash their work clothes, you get the idea. What was their response?
Keep this journal, and get ready for next month! My friend Whitney, author of Loving Freely will be joining me to collaborate on the next challenge!
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