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Thirty One Days Of Bliss: A marriage journaling challenge

Who wants to join me for a challenge? I’m combining two things that I love. My marriage, and journaling. You don’t have to be married, but it will work best if you are at least living together. Choose a journal with enough pages for a month, and enough space on each page for at least a paragraph. These should be unprompted and it will work best if you don’t discuss it with your partner before doing it. This is designed to help work on your relationship with your partner/spouse. Relationships always take work. Sometimes little things are BIG things. Whatever point you are at in your relationship, give this a try! Some of it might lead to some eye opening moments, beautiful discussions or maybe even some SEXY TIME! Feel free to openly or discreetly share on Instagram using the hashtag #TDOBchallenge and repost so other’s can join!

Day 1: Attraction. What were some of the first things that attracted you to your spouse? Find one of those things today and compliment them on it.

Day 2: Happy Note. Everyone loves happy notes! Write your spouse a happy note and leave it somewhere for them to find. What did you write and where did you put it? What kind of reaction did you get?

Day 3: Date night! Plan a date night at home for sometime this week. A snack and a movie, game, fun activity that you enjoy or used to enjoy and some one on one time. Write about your plans.

Day 4: Connect. Sometimes technology can really disconnect you from your loved ones. Today, try to put your electronic devices down every time your spouse is in the room and have a conversation. Even if they are sitting on theirs. Did you find you had more conversations than usual? If so, what were they about?

Day 5: Goooooaaals! Do you have any goals you would like to accomplish in your relationship in the near future? It could be something as simple as planning a vacation for just the two of you, Enrolling in counseling or planning a mandatory once a month date night. Write down your goals, and do something small or BIG to work towards that goal. 

Day 6: Yummy! What is one of your spouses favorite treats? Go out of your way to make or buy one of them and surprise them today. What was their reaction?

Day 7: Compliments. Sometimes a little compliment can make someone’s day. Write 5 things that attract you to your spouse. Give them a compliment about one of these today.

Day 8: Ch-ch-ch-changes! Make a list of ways you have seen your spouse change for the better since you first met them. Let them know at least one of these things today.

Day 9: Kiss and tell! Do you kiss your spouse often? Randomly kiss your spouse without any prompting at least 5 times today. What kind of response did you get?

Day 10: Gifts. If you could buy your spouse something they have been really wanting, what would it be? If its something feasible that you can get them today, surprise them with it. If it’s not, make them a gift or write them another love note and leave it somewhere for them to find. What kind of response did you get?

Day 11: Homemaker. Is there a chore your spouse usually does everyday? The dishes after dinner? Taking out the trash? Doing homework with the kids? Write down what it is. Then tell them you love them, and take over the chore for today. How did they react?

Day 12: Have some class! If you and your spouse could take a fun class together, what would it be? Talk to your spouse about it, and look into it. If you can do it, schedule it! If you can’t right now, Commit to someday doing the class together. 

Day 13: Appreciation. What is something you really appreciate your spouse for? Today, let them know that you appreciate them for doing whatever it is. 

Day 14: Love notes revisited and bonus day! Let’s leave another love note for our spouse. Choose a different place to leave it this time! Also, make your spouse a meal today AND do the cleanup so they don’t have to.

Day 15: Can I help you? Call, text or Ask your spouse in person “Is there anything I can do to make your day easier?’ What was their response? Was it something you could help them with? Did you help them?

Day 16: No whining. Sometimes we don’t realize how often we complain to our spouse about even the littlest things. Today, make a conscious effort to not complain about anything. How did it make you feel? Did you find it difficult?

Day 17: Spontaneous. Today, Choose to be spontaneous with your spouse. Suggest an after work walk, a shower together, A late night ice cream run. Get creative! Did you have fun? What was their response? 

Day 18: Rub down! Give your spouse a good back or foot rub. How did they respond?

Day 19: The feels. Think of something your spouse did this week that made you feel good. Write about it. Let your spouse know what they did, and thank them.

Day 20: Scrub scrub! Make time for a bath or shower with your spouse at the end of the day. If you own a hot tub, EVEN BETTER! *If this isn’t possible due to parental responsibilities, have a good cuddle with your spouse instead. 

Day 21: In your hands. Did you hold hands a lot when first dating? Find the time to hold your spouse’s hand today every chance you can. How did they respond?

Day 22: At home date repeat: Plan another at home date night for sometime this week. If you can do one tonight, GREAT! If it’s for another day, write down your plans. 

Day 23: You have my heart. You will have to get a little crafty for this one! Cut out 20 hearts from paper. Write something you love about your spouse on each heart. Stick them in a place for them to find. Some ideas are: The bathroom mirror, The inside of the pantry, Their car dashboard. What was their response? What 20 things did you choose?

Day 24: Walk it out. Take a walk together. Of course the kids can come along. Bonus points for holding their hand! If weather doesn’t permit, cuddle up on the couch! Was it nice? How did they respond?

Day 25: Help. Do you need help with something this week or month that seems daunting? What is it? Approach your spouse with your situation and nicely ask them this way: “I could really use your support with ____________. Do you think you can help me?” How did they respond?

Day 26: Movie night! Go see a movie together. If you can’t get out of the house spontaneously, Watch a movie together at home today/tonight. What did you watch? Did you enjoy your time together?

Day 27: Out with the negative, In with the positive. Today, refrain from saying anything negative to your spouse. About your day, about someone else, about life in general. If you catch yourself starting to say something negative, immediately swap it for something positive instead. Was this hard for you or easy?

Day 28: Smile. Make it a point to smile when you are around your spouse today. Even if the baby kept you up all night, or you woke up with a hangover. Smile. Did you find this hard or are you regularly ‘smiley’? 

Day 29: Textual. Text your spouse randomly and tell them that you love them and appreciate them. What was their response?

Day 30: Clean up. Surprise your spouse with a clean house today. If you work or will be gone all day and can’t do this to the full extent, At least clean up a space that they might appreciate. Do they enjoy a clean bathroom to get ready for work? Make it sparkle for them. Did they notice? How did they respond?

Day 31: Easy like Sunday morning. Do something today/tonight that will help with your spouses routine. Make them their lunch so they don’t have to, Set up the coffee ahead of time for the morning, Wash their work clothes, you get the idea. What was their response? 

Keep this journal, and get ready for next month! My friend Whitney, author of Loving Freely will be joining me to collaborate on the next challenge!

Sleep pattern changes

Not debating,  and definitely  not pushing sleep 'training,'  but I had to share. We tried something new recently for Mycah. I love nursing and I love cosleeping (most of the time.) It's not a one sided thing either,  Michael feels better with Mycah in our bed,  happy and snuggling with us. It was important to me that he and I still had our space and he wasn't feeling negative about babies in the bed. But he has a very sweet bond with his son and loves waking up close to him. Cosleeping is just easy.

Once upon a time, two years ago I was nursing an almost two year old all night, every night. Which is how it had been since he was 5 months old. He never slept deeply,  and I never slept at all. My quality of life sucked and I was depressed and sickly. Sleep deprivation gets real with me. I 'tried' to try out this article from Dr. Jay Gordon but had zero help or cooperation from my child's father, and the mess was keeping my 4 year old awake. And so I gave up until a little while later, when it ended up being a non gentle cold turkey thing.  I promised myself I wouldn't let it get to that point with any future babies. Flash forward and here I am now with an almost 11 month old.. and adding pregnancy on top of that, I was feeling miserable again. Not to mention,  pretty much dry nursing all night hurts like hell.  So I tried this article again. I felt more prepared and confident with a small side of PTSD. It also helps that you have a great helpful and supportive partner. Which I have now. The first few nights were supposed to be the hardest. You pick a time block that you decide to not nurse. I decided to do things a little more gentle and still let him nurse,  but only for a minute each time he wakes,  and then roll him over and tell him 'all done,  nigh night.' It was rough. Mycah threw a major tantrum when I unlatched him and told him 'no more.' He thrashed around and hit us and flailed and kicked and screamed,  but I didn't give up. Michael sat on the other side of the bed the whole time and helped me calm and reassure him. After that hour tantrum, he fell asleep without milkies. That was over a week ago. We never had another bad night. Now,  he sleeps solid chunks without waking to nurse. When he does,  it's only for maybe a minute or less and then unlatches, rolls over and goes back to sleep. ON. HIS. OWN. Even nap time is better. He wakes up happy now instead of grumpy and crying. I'm sure since every baby is different for some people it could take maybe even weeks,  but I really feel like we did the right thing with letting him figure out how to self soothe with our reassurance. My sanity and overall feeling towards nursing have gotten better. Here is the article. I hope someone else has success like we did and moves on from being a Mombie.

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

New home!

It has been awhile since I updated. We found a condo to rent while we start the home buying process. It's close to family, and we really enjoy the views of the mountain! All the boys are doing well. Mycah is happy to pull up on anything he can get his hands on, but doesn't seem interested in moving his feet to actually walk. I don't think we will have another 9 month old walker. Hayden and Nixon are eager to start home school on the 18th of August. Im trying to hold them off for a couple more weeks! Big news for us...we are having another baby! After getting over the initial shock..we are excited. So far this is a strangely easy pregnancy, which is great since I have three other kids to chase around! I'm just taking it one day at a time. I'm super thankful that so far, Mycah is still nursing well with no issues. A lot of people lose their milk supply pretty fast. We have our first midwife appointment this Saturday with a tour of the birth center. I'm hoping everything goes well so we can gbo through with our plans of a natural water birth out of hospital.

Our home made light table

Here is a more elaborate post on the light table I made the boys. I found instructions on Pinterest and modified them. This is the box we got. A Sterilite 50 Quart/47L. I filled it with three strands of clear Christmas lights I found in the party section at Walmart. We burned a hole in the side to slip the strand of lights out to plug in. Notice our pretty job of melting a hole haha! These are some ideas for things to go on top. We have Wonder Tubes, blocks, and empty chunky plastic test tubes which I filled with random things. Dry lavender flowers, glitter, water and one tiny pump of hand soap so it doesn't get yucky. One of the hem is filled with clear quartz rocks, one had oil (I used sweet almond) and 10 drops of food coloring, one has tinyour plastic colored balls that are usually used to decorate and texture your nails (dollar tree) they getc super staticky and stick to the sides  of the tube. Another has water, chunky pieces of glitter and small glow in the dark stars, and the last one has pretty see through plastic jewels, and no water.

The test tubes, clear square building blocks, Wonder Tubes and marble maze were all purchased at Lakeshore Learning. We also have clear plastic links and bracelets that we got at the Dollar Tree. I also found colored plastic dividers used for school folders and cut them into shapes.

All three boys love it, and I will admit, it's kind of relaxing sitting in the quiet, watching them play!

Being the bad guy

I have had a few older people tell me that they wouldn't ever want to raise children in this day and age. I have to agree with them to some point. It's scary. I feel like when my parents were raising us as little kids, they didn't have to question as much, or think as much as I feel like we do today. I'm not saying it was easier. No. But now..thanks to technology, there is so much information for the general public to get their hands on. Previous generations, they sent their kids to school. Sometimes just debating on public or private. Not wondering about homeschooling, charter, part time or unschooling. They went to the store, bought food, and fed their family. Most people didn't tediously read all the labels, looking for hidden additives, dyes, preservatives or processed particles. They took their kids to the doctor and listened to everything they said and didnt qurstion anythjng. They bought them toys and didn't think twice about any lead, chemicals or cancer causing agents lurking amoung the BPA ridden plastic. They got their child a drink of water from the sink and didn't think about what their city adds to the water and what the percentages were. Well I do. I know I sound crazy to some, but I'm not the only one either. There are many other parents out there just like me. I'm not saying we are better, we are informed, more curious and more selective about what we let on, in and around our children's bodies, and most of the time..our own. To me, things are a lot worse. If you do research, things will start to add up. When your parents and grandparents said "oh you ate that when you were a child, and you turned out fine." No. Cancer of all types is at an all time high. So is Autism and and other spectrum disorders. Women have horribly imbalanced hormones. So many people cannot get pregnant, have miscarriages or their babies have genetic abnormalities. Mental illness rates are insane. Diabetes is rampant. You may be fine now, but who says you wont have somethihg like that 5 or 10 years from now. Most ailments such as food allergies, asthma, arthritis, chronic ear infections and stomach issues are being cured or healed with diet changes. That tells me something about the things we are putting in our bodies. You don't have to break it down anymore for me. Call it a belief if you will, but I will do everything in my power to not let my children fall victim to disease without at least trying to keep as many toxins from their life while they are still in my care. Once they leave the nest..they make their own food decisions. I hope they bring a little bit of what they grew up with.

Tonight I felt mean when I wouldn't let the boys have red white and blue cupcakes that a neighbor brought over. 'It is a special occasion!'I thought, but I have been using that excuse way too much. I compromised and gave them an organic gluten free oatmeal cookie. I hope they understans one day that not everything is created equal. Especially food. So for now, I will just be the bad guy from time to time...

Getting ready for school!

Well, we received the news today that we didn't get the home. So the search continues. On a happier note, I have been gathering things for the boys curriculum for preschool and first grade. Nixon will be going to a montessori preschool twice a week, and Hayden will be full time homeschooled with some social activities thrown in. Here is a picture so far. We made a light table last week which I will post our tutorial for later. So here we have blocks, shapes, letter beads etc for the light table, half the books hayden needs, Theraputty, games, Alphabots, a magnetic spelling board, tweezing color sorting balls, Washi Tape, wooden pattern blocks, and some wooden tree chips for sorting and counting. I may burn letters on them with a wood burner. I also bought clear large plastic test tubes to make sensory tubes, which are pictured below. I still need to get a book of mazes, more reading books, some phonics and handwriting, another math book, and cuisenaire rods. I'm also in love with a set of nature blocks made out of trees that Lakeshore has. Ahhhhh.